When the Devil Goes to Therapy: Refusing the Sympathy Script

There’s a moment in the Netflix series Lucifer that’s almost… tender. The Devil, suave and self-aware, lounges on a therapist’s couch and says something along the lines of:“I didn’t choose this job. Someone had to run Hell. It was a punishment... but also a duty.”

Cue the violins.

It’s clever writing, no doubt. But for many survivors of manipulation, narcissistic abuse, or spiritual gaslighting, this scene hits differently. Especially if you’ve ever been seated next to someone—perhaps your partner—who watches that same show and says:

“See? That’s how I feel. No one understands me. I carry the weight. I had to be this way.”

And just like that, Lucifer becomes less of a fictional character and more of a mirror you didn’t ask to look into.

The Rise of the "Misunderstood Abuser" Trope

Pop culture loves to hand the villain a backstory. Childhood trauma. Divine injustice. Abandonment. A complicated mission.

And to be fair, context does matter. Humans are complex. But there’s a difference between understanding someone’s wounds and excusing the wounds they inflict.

In therapy—and in life—this distinction is everything.

If you’ve ever been drawn into the orbit of someone who weaponizes their past pain as a shield against accountability, you know the dance:

• “I only lashed out because I’ve been betrayed before.”

• “I struggle with control because no one ever respected me.”

• “I didn’t mean to hurt you—I’m just broken.”

  
  

It’s a script. A seductive one. And when you’re empathetic, educated, or faith-driven, you may feel it’s your job to understand them deeper, love them harder, or wait for the redemption arc.

But what if the redemption arc was never yours to write?

Sympathy is Not the Same as Safety

As a clinical hypnotist, I work with people reclaiming themselves after deep emotional entanglements. Many come in whispering the same phrase:“I kept making excuses for him… because I understood why he was that way.”

Understanding does not equal permission.

Empathy should not cost you your peace.

And a sympathetic villain is still a villain if you’re bleeding.

When someone repeatedly harms you and then uses vulnerability to soften the blow, they’re not healing—they’re performing.

And here’s the twist: even the Devil can cry on cue.

The Trap of the Couch Confession

There’s something unsettling about watching someone weaponize therapy lingo to reframe themselves as the victim.

• “My inner child was reacting.”

• “It’s my attachment style, not abuse.”

• “I’m doing the work—you just don’t see it.”

The couch becomes a stage.

The therapist becomes a prop.

And the Devil gets a makeover—complete with emotional monologues and just enough introspection to blur the truth.

Refusing the Sympathy Script

Refusing the sympathy script doesn’t mean hardening your heart or becoming cynical. It means choosing discernment over delusion.

It means realizing that you are not obligated to stay in the fire just because someone says they’re cold.

It means asking:

• Is this person actively taking accountability?

• Are they making safe, consistent changes?

• Or are they simply poetic about their pain?

Healing involves both truth and boundaries.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is walk away.

Even Jesus did.

John 8:59

"At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.”

A Final Word for the Hypnotherapy-Seeking Heart

If you’re here because you’ve been caught in that emotional tug-of-war—between sympathy and safety, between staying and saving—know this:

You’re allowed to stop explaining why it hurt.

You’re allowed to stop giving second chances to someone who memorized your compassion like a script.

You’re allowed to rest.

Real healing begins when your story matters again.

Not the devil’s.

Not the therapist’s version of events.

Yours.

Welcome back to the light.

🪞 Journal Prompts:

Have I been confusing understanding someone’s pain with excusing their behavior?

What boundaries have I neglected in the name of empathy?

You don’t need to carry their redemption arc.

If you're ready to reclaim your clarity, rebuild trust in your instincts, and quiet the noise of emotional manipulation, I’m here to help.

🪞Book your breakthrough session today.