When Opposites Attract: Emotional & Physical Suggestibility in Real Relationships

Let’s talk about something they don’t always cover in hypnotherapy school: what happens when your textbook Emotional Sexual marries a textbook Physical—and throws in some trauma, abandonment wounds, and a few spiritual awakenings for good measure.

Welcome to real life. And maybe yours too.

🔄 What Are Emotional & Physical Suggestibility and Sexuality?

Dr. John Kappas, founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute (HMI), developed the theory of Emotional and Physical suggestibility and sexuality to help us understand how people receive information and express love.

• Physical Suggestibles respond best to direct, literal suggestions. They express love through touch, closeness, presence, and regular affirmation. They’re wired for physical proximity.

• Emotional Suggestibles respond to inferred, indirect suggestions. They feel love through trust, reflection, space, and mental connection. They regulate by pulling back and sorting things out internally.

Sexuality mirrors this pattern:

• Physical Sexuals need regular closeness and feel most secure when intimacy is consistent and emotionally expressive.

• Emotional Sexuals often need distance to recharge emotionally and physically. Closeness can feel overwhelming if not on their own terms.

You can already guess what happens when these two types marry.

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⚡️ The Clash: How E & P Misunderstand Each Other

When an Emotional is stressed, they withdraw to reflect.

When a Physical is stressed, they push in to reconnect.

In a healthy couple with trust, these needs can balance out. But if you add trauma, betrayal, or years of poor communication?

You don’t just get misalignment. You get escalation.

The Emotional says, "I need space to process."

The Physical hears, "You're abandoning me."

The Physical says, "Let’s talk, let’s fix this now."

The Emotional hears, "You’re suffocating me."

Both think the other is doing damage… but they’re really just reacting from their deepest internal programs.

A Client Case: When the Physical Leaves Town

Let’s talk about a client who was a classic Emotional Sexual, married for years to a Physical.

After nearly 7 years of marriage and children together, the Physical partner took a temporary job out of town. Suddenly, he was the one leaving.

And it cracked him open.

For the Emotional partner? It was, strangely, a relief.

She could finally breathe. Reflect. Organize her thoughts. Not because she didn’t love him—she did—but because she needed space to feel like herself again.

But for him? It was torture.

Being the one to leave didn’t offer him power or peace—it triggered all of his deepest fears.

Was she drifting?

Was the distance a setup for loss?

Would she forget what they had?

So he reached. Called. Explained. Questioned. Pleaded. Then accused. Then softened. Then panicked again.

Meanwhile, she was over there journaling, praying, cleaning the house, feeling more like herself than she had in months—only to be guilted for it.

Why?

Because he needed presence to feel loved. And she needed space to feel safe.

And neither of them was wrong.

But they weren’t speaking the same love language.

💥 When It Goes Toxic

Now add the pathology:

• Mistrust

• Betrayal

• Control

• Spiritual guilt

What you get is the Physical doubling down: calling, messaging, guilt-tripping, panicking. And the Emotional shutting down: detaching, analyzing, ghosting, freezing.

It’s not just a relationship pattern—it’s a nervous system mismatch.

💡 What You Need to Hear

If you’re a Physical Sexual, you need reassurance that wanting touch, connection, and closeness is valid.

But you also need tools to regulate when those things aren’t available.

If you’re an Emotional Sexual, you need to trust that needing space isn’t abandonment. But you also need to learn how to signal safety to your partner without feeling like you're compromising your boundaries.

Because your partner might not feel safe in silence.

And you might not feel safe in pressure.

🌳 Metaphors Heal Where Logic Can't

We use imagery like:

• A harbor and a ship

• A tree and a treehouse

• A comet and its orbit

Because Physicals need experience, not explanation., and Emotionals need meaning, not just touch.

Give both.

🌱 The Takeaway

You are not broken for needing space. You are not needy for craving connection.

But if you don’t understand how you’re wired, you’ll always think love is slipping through your fingers.

So let’s speak the language of Emotional and Physical. Let’s stop blaming ourselves—or each other—and start decoding the blueprint of love.

It changes everything.

Let's Figure This Out Together