It's that time of year again where the promises of years past are looking at another ending, another beginning - another marker of time that's passed, and with it, all that you did and didn't get done.
Chances are, the resolutions you made in the previous year are either hardly able to be recalled, or so loudly echoing in the mental halls of failures that you know all too well what you were hoping to get done by the miraculous power of "one day" - and you didn't.
That's how it goes for many people, you're not alone.
I don't even think about New Year Resolutions anymore, but I was asked to write an article for a local publication and title it something along the lines of...
How Hypnosis Can Help You Keep Your Resolutions
But all that I could think of for a title was, "Why you suck at keeping your resolutions", I mean that's what it is, but no one wants to hear the honest words, as marketers, we need to find the right words to touch upon the inner psyche of the readers.
I would have gone with the second one because so many people have these preconceived notions about Hypnosis and think that they are not susceptible to its effects. They'll take pills upon pills, see self-proclaimed gurus and pay thousands of dollars for an illusion, but they won't consider hypnosis - anything but that.
Sure.
It's been six years since I started my practice and I love everything about it, but lately, it's been very repetitive in explaining hypnosis to people, so I started telling them the truth -
I'm going to take you out of the hypnosis you've been in and change the inner script you've been repeating all these years.
Sometimes the client slips into hypnosis during the intake within the first 7 minutes of being in my office, sometimes I can tell they are trying with all their might to resist the very thing they sought.
Relief. Control. Clarity. Serenity. A better sense. A better life.
Why resist the very thing they desired and what their lives need the most? Simply because of fear.
Fears of the unknown - what could their life be without this behavior, this relationship, this way of self-soothing?
Or a fear of failing ... what if I don't do this right? It's like the fear of success or the fear of failure - they are both powerful and to the person who is on one side of the spectrum, they may not understand the gravity of the situation for the person on the other side - but it's just as motivating or just as paralyzing.
So how do we move past the fear?
Well of course I'm going to tell you that it's hypnosis. Everyone knows hypnosis helps with fears, but this was supposed to be about New Year Resolutions, not fear...
It's not a fear like a fear of spiders, something you can potentially live with, but it's a fear that keeps people in cycles of behavior - entanglements of beliefs that keep them in a comfort zone of expected behaviors and known reactions, maybe the same people in their lives, maybe different, but always the same dynamics.
For instance...
A person that's been in a bad relationship, it could be abusive in various ways and someday it could end. The person that was the victim in the relationship might find themselves in a new relationship at some point with a person that is really genuinely nice and everything the abusive partner wasn't. If the victim had subconscious beliefs about their worth, relationships dynamics and behaviors that were aligned to abusive tendencies, they will recreate situations, trigger situations and repeat the behaviors of being a victim because that is what they are comfortable with. It is a subconscious script that keeps them comfortable in the familiar landscape of their mind.
Being anything other than a victim in a relationship makes them uncomfortable, it creates an anxiety that they are not used to, and they seek to recreate the same kind of comfort they knew as children. Good or bad is relative, it's their subconscious imprint and they will spend their lives looking for someone and the life that fits the mold.
A person that wants to quit smoking but struggles because they have deep subconscious reasons for smoking.
It could be that as children they saw family members or a movie-star that they closely identified with, and that person smoked. A decision was made to be like them, consciously or subconsciously, and just like that, when they time came - the chance to smoke - it was a done deal. To quit smoking would then alter the way they see themselves. It would mean a new identity would have to be visualized, established and accepted. It's an entirely different reality. It's a new way of coping, a new way of living that affects people all day long. How many times does a smoker reach for the cigarette? So many people do it within 30 minutes of waking up, and every hour until 30 minutes before falling asleep.
Weight loss .... this one. So many people ask about this but don't realize they aren't really ready for all they may have to give up, and when they do an inventory of their lives and relationships - they see how many of them are toxic or actually cause the bad habits that keep them with their weight struggles, it brings up other challenges.
How many clients have I had that can't face the bullying their family will put them through for wanting to take better care of themselves? Or spouses that keep buying them desserts and candies even when they know that the clients are trying to lose weight?
And even more often than those - the ones who drink with friends every night -
"It's just one glass of wine", they say.
How many things in life will have to change in order to lose the weight?
Most people want me to snap my fingers and after 2 or 3 hours of hypnosis, change decades of emotional eating, a sedentary lifestyle, dysfunctional relationships with food, their world and within the home.
It's not always just about the food, more often than not, it has to do with emotions, control and soothing the imbalance between the two.
Not all hope is lost though
Hypnotherapy is meant to help people in these instances, and it does, but it takes dedication and time, just like all treatments would. When someone goes to a spa for one visit, it's a treat, when they go for a series of visits, it's a treatment - same goes with this. This is treatment for the subconscious beliefs that are impeding they life that's desired.
Hypnosis helps manage the day-to-day behaviors, the cravings, the ways of being. Therapeutic Imagery changes the subconscious imagery, beliefs and attitudes about the self and how life should be.
Hypnotherapy is what happens between the two. It's taking the lessons and benefits of Therapeutic Imagery and incorporating them into life - hypnotically.
Knowing subconscious reasons for keeping the behaviors and challenges repeating themselves in life can help a client in understanding themselves and know when as well as how to implement their changes. They see the moment of their lives where the changes could be implemented and how they would rather react, they see it while they are in hypnosis and the body feels good, it wants to feel it again, and it seeks to recreate those mental images - that mold.
So can you succeed at keeping your resolutions?
Sure.
If you believe that you can, and you've moved all the potential obstacles that would trip you up, yes you can. Otherwise, I'll see you around February, when you realized you needed help - or not, because you just totally gave up on the possibility of changing.
Until then ... Happy New Year.
Yours in hypnosis,
Susana
Here's a video of this topic
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